“What should you do when you just never get to where you thought you’d be in life at this point?”

What should you do when you just never get to where you thought you’d be in life at this point? This is a question I have been asking myself frequently as of late.  I really don’t have a road map to this answer, but here are some of my thoughts at this point.


Let it go. What you thought you may have been is not your actuality. It simply sucks to hear, but lets face it, sometimes the truth is not pretty, nor wanted.

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So then, what do you do from here?  My advice – rebuild your dreams. Evaluate what is meant to be for your future now.  Deeply, truly, wholeheartedly ask yourself several questions: What do you want to spend your days and nights doing? What type of job will make you happy and fulfilled? Where in the world do you want to work? Who do you want to be with in life? Lastly, what is it that truly makes you happy at this stage in your life?

Remember, you are not who you were even a year ago, let along 10 years ago.  Your personal rules in life have changed, and so should your goals and life aspirations. This is not to say that you don’t keep some of your original goals and dreams that you still hold dear – it simply means to build upon those, renew your goals, and add new ones as you move forward into your future.  

So, Step one: think about what makes you tick. If you close your eyes, take several deep breaths, what do you visualize doing for a career? Who are you spending your time with? What type of life are you living?  Once you answer these questions, which may not be immediate, start to make a plan.

Step Two: how are you going to move yourself toward this life that you are creating for yourself? What are the financial, social, and emotional steps you will need to fulfill to gain your life goals? Devise a budget, begin a savings plan, enumerate action steps toward your ideal job, and work at seizing that love that you want. Make a calendar, a chart, a step-by-step to-do-list with specifics to provide a constant reminder of your journey.  Watch how you grow, reward yourself when possible, and revise your list as needed. Above all, TAKE THE LEAP toward your goals, as frightening as it can be. I know the words I am saying as I write this advice. I know, because I am currently in the leap phase. I am flying in the air without the knowledge of knowing where my net is – yet, I feel so free and enthusiastic about my journey. I have waited so long for it, pined for it, refrained from it, excused it, and finally, welcomed the chaos and hard work.  

Join me, as we venture into a more fulfilling and healthy future for our present and future selves.


Published by

R.I.V.E.R. Educational Consulting

In 2015, Tara M. Kfoury received her Doctorate of Educational Leadership after completing a public defense on the dissertation titled: "The Perceptions of Middle School Principals in Addressing Non-Suicidal Self-Injury among Adolescent Females ages 10-14 years old." Since then, Tara has continued to inquire and implement the latest research findings on educational best practices as well as address the Social Emotional and Mental Health & learning needs of adolescents. She continues to conduct research on past, current, and emerging trends in education and social, emotional, and mental health and wellness. She has honed her skills in addressing children who engage in harmful behaviors - including but not limited to self-harm, suicide, negative coping strategies, and addiction. Her SEL and conflict resolution techniques address children as young as 3 years old to those in their early 20s. Currently, Tara provides Social Emotional skill building among students, staff, and families within several school communities. Her expertise allows her to effectively collaborate with and mentor staff members on contemporary Social Emotional and Mental Health and Wellness needs. Her knowledge of how to reduce anxiety, address conflict in a safe and effective manner, and encourage self-advocacy are used when speaking with students, staff, and parents alike. Tara has also used several highly effective protocols to address students that may be at greater risk of harmful behaviors and negative coping strategies. As a former educator for more than 17 years, Tara is familiar with public and private school institutions, allowing her to navigate the requirements needed to be filled by SEL curriculum. Additionally, as an educator she is aware of federal and state curricula requirements for various health and wellness programs which allows her to coordinate and form partnerships with other private and public schools with flexibility and ease. As a consultant, Dr. Kfoury advises school principals and staff on the design and implementation of critical curriculum for the development of youth, ages 3 to 20. She serves as a primary contact of assistance for educators and families in resolving educational issues and grievances. During her career, Tara has executed outreach initiatives to public and private entities to support the students, families, staff, and the surrounding community. She continues to use her proficient skills in communication, interpersonal, relationship building, consulting, teamwork and leadership to positively impact change management within the educational arena. As a veteran teacher, Tara has assessed teacher development needs and designed and delivered targeted solutions, including strategic planning, visioning, classroom management and team building. She has delivered appropriate coaching and development feedback to principals, teacher leaders, and teacher candidates. Lastly, she has provided expertise in development and execution, planning, and facilitation of positive employee relations efforts.

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